The Circle of Life is Killing Me

If I feed the fox, will it stop trying to eat the baby magpies?  If I let the deer eat the columbines in my front garden, will they leave the tomatoes alone in the back garden?  If I leave milk out for the cats, will they stop going after the chipmunks?  If I leave apples and strawberries out for the hawks, will they stop trying to eat the cats? Honestly, this whole thing is wearing me out.  

Here in the mountains near Aspen, everyone tells you not to feed the wildlife.  We have lots of bears, and they are always hungry.  They can sniff out a dried up Kind bar in the glove box of your car from 3 miles away.

But also, according to experts, we need to leave the animals alone, because they know what they’re doing.  And we, clearly, don’t.  When we try to step in, we invariably screw things up.  Here are a just a few examples of our brilliance:

In the 1990’s a crate of 1,000 giant African snails was smuggled from Nigeria into the United States and sold to exotic pet dealers.  A single one of these baseball sized slugs can eat an entire head of lettuce in one sitting.  (will someone please explain to me how a 16-ounce snail makes a good pet?) 

Continuing our strange exotic pet theme, walking catfish were imported from Southeast Asia as aquarium fish in the 1960’s.  They escaped from breeding tanks in Florida.  These strange fish are able to breathe and crawl on land, and aggressively go after other fish and wildlife.

The kudzu plant was introduced to the South at the New Orleans Exposition in 1883.  A fast-growing vine, it quickly became a favorite of Southerners looking for cover for their porches, or vegetation to feed their livestock.  It’s now known as the vine that ate the South, and there’s even a poem warning Southerners to close their windows at night to keep the vine out.  It has become an invasive menace and now covers more than 7 million acres in the south.

The wise guys (spiritually advanced people) say that there is perfect harmony in the universe, if we will just leave it alone and stop messing with it.  

My mom had a tiny hummingbird nest in one of her trees.  Last year the mother came back to the nest, and Mom witnessed the miracle of two babies hatching, growing, and taking their first flight.  This spring, the nest blew out of the tree in a storm.  Knowing how much she loved watching them, I agreed with her that using Gorilla Glue to reattach the nest was a great idea.  You’ll be shocked to learn that the mother hummer wasn’t impressed. 

You can’t fool Mother Nature.  And you can’t fool a mother hummer.  I bet even the gorillas are laughing at us.